Hello Guys and Dolls,
So why write a blog post on P.M.A? For me this is the most important aspect of my Journey. Recently I have spoken or more so glanced over the struggles of my daily P.M.A. When I had my son back in September 2013, it was the most elated and wonderful time of my life. For the 1st time in my life I felt that I had finally seen something through to the end and my little bundle bundle of joy being the end result. Inevitable though it may be at 39 weeks and 6 days facing a C section there was going to be something at the other end. Thankfully he was perfect and so began Motherhood. When all the visitors had left and here I was with a newborn up every 4 hours and surviving on digestive biscuits smothered in Nutella, the 2.5 stone that quickly fell off me, even quicker started to creep back on. Nobody tells you how hard some days are. WHY?? Nobody tells you that you turn in this protective Lioness ready to pounce on Aunt Mary who goes to squeeze the cheeks out of your precious bundle that you have grown in your belly for 10 months. Nobody tells that you will cry for no reason and look like you have been dragged through a ditch backwards. You have your baby, your shown how to wash, feed and dress it, you are also told that you should now ask your doctor for a form of birth control because who wants to be pregnant at their 6 week checkup!! How can anyone be prepared for all that, with an aching stomach from being sliced open and throbbing boobs which are full to the brim. ( Sorry for being so graphic but its true) Anyway my point being that all of this can have a serious impact on your usual cheery self.
I was 22 stone my heaviest I had ever been in all my life, minus baby weight I was a hefty 21 stone 7 lbs at Christmas. It was honestly the worst time of my life, I felt disgusting, I just wanted it all to be over (Christmas), I was in a constant state of anxiety, I didn’t want to leave the house I didn’t want to see family and friends. I cocooned myself and shut everyone away. I want to explain to you if you have never experienced anxiety or panic attacks. For me its the constant ugly butterfly’s, the dread, the worry, making a situation 100 times worse than it already is. We can all do this but if it effects your body enough, when you don’t speak about this the constant anxiety, it just doesn’t go away it has to find a way out. For me my heart starts to pound out of my chest, I cant breath right and I think I am going to die. It might sound a tad dramatic and over the top but believe me its not. The reasoning behind it all or why it happens is the FLIGHT or FIGHT response that your body has if it feels in danger or a rush of adrenaline when excited. So can you imagine feeling all of that while just sitting on the couch watching the soaps? Your doing a sky dive while getting shot at by the Mafia? I can laugh now and joke about it now because I have accepted that this is part of my life. I can control it now because I understand what is happening to me and everything will be OK. And how I do it because I have created a P.M.A.
How? How can I be so motivated and positive all the time. I’M NOT!! I am not perfect and some days I just want to hide under a duvet like the past two weeks my P.M.A was at an all time low. Why because I had worked a situation into something it might not even be. I would also like to add at this point that I have never had resorted to medication myself thankfully, Rescue Remedy yes, I have nearly drank the bottle in a day, Chamomile tea yes drinking it by litre. It is certainly not a weakness if you need medication and I would like to stress that because everyones situation is completely different. For me I just wanted to explore every option and avenue to try change my outlook and attitude before going down that route. My P.M.A has got me through so much in the last few years.
I have created a daily P.M.A mantra, I read, I walk daily and I wake up with a positive quote and go to bed with the same. While also trying to eat as clean as I can because as they say “Better keep yourself clean and bright afterall you are the window through which you must see the world!
“A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IS A PERSONS PASSPORT FOR A BETTER TOMORROW” – Unknown
“YOU CANT ALWAYS CONTROL CIRCUMSTANCES. BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR OWN THOUGHTS” – Charles Popplestone
It is no secret doing what I do being a blogger and putting everything out on plate and saying look at me, that I face criticism from time to time. Now it would be fair if it was true what these people were saying, but to all keyboard warriors out there THINK before you speak because it is clear you are not perfect, you cannot judge and you cannot begin to think you know better because you do not know what is going on in someones life. Just because they are a public figure does not mean they are not human. I myself am very lucky that I experience such amazing positivity and support from my followers. I am so blessed for the family and support network I have around me and it being fair to say I am not the type of person to sit back and let someone walk all over me.
“TREAT EVERY PERSON YOU ENCOUNTER WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT” – Jeff Keller
With the above quote being my daily mantra, I want to share this book with you all, written by Jeff Keller, ‘ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING’ Change your attitude …. and change your life! I 1st read this book when I was 13 years old, I have always been a book worm and my Mother being the amazing woman that she is gave me this when I was yet again trying to loose weight or whatever weightloss plan I was doing at the time. It had such an effect on me back then that I never forgot it, I am reading it again now for the 100th time and I can here you say why? Because every time I do, I learn something new. We all change on a daily basis whether we like it or not. I am not the same person I was when I was 13 years old. I have grown up, I have experienced life, the bills, the love, the laughs, the nights out, travelling, losing loved ones. Everything effects you and life changes you but it is up to you whether you walk positively towards it and grab it with both hands or sit and wallow in negativity. You cannot move on if you cannot let go of the past. If I could not let go would I be sitting here almost 8 stone lighter?
I hope this post helps and makes sense and I haven’t just waffled on for over 1000 words. But I wanted you to understand that when someone asks me “Nicola I am struggling, I have no motivation I am sitting here in tears what can you say to me? What I say to myself everyday, accept accept accept, its 99% of any journey in life whether it be weight-loss or not. But you have to accept this is your life, only YOU CAN change, only you can accept that yes I will eat like this for the rest of my life if I want to loose weight and maintain it, but you cannot begin to do any of it if you don’t change your attitude. Believe in yourself 100% and never let anything stand in your way of success. So with that I will leave you with my final quote.
” Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success” – Dr.Joyce Brothers
“No matter what you think you are still AMAZING even when you cant see it” – TheNakedBlondie